"Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy, and celebration”
Papyrus
Hey dear one,
It has been a few weeks since we last connected. I had a beautiful class plan organised for July, a heartfelt newsletter drafted, a blog post written, the new Metamorphosis event on the calendar and bookings for the Spring Retreat ready to be open by the middle of this month.
However, life had other plans for me and during the first days of July, my brother (who was diagnosed with cancer late last year and was doing really well with his treatment) had a terrible headache for weeks that brought him back to hospital to realise cancer has spread to his brain. After losing his speech and the ability to eat, his doctors recommended palliative care and my parents urged me to come home.
On the evening of July 12th my beautiful brother peacefully passed. I never thought I would see him go at such a young age (he turned 52 on July 2), he had big plans, we promised each other to walk the Camino in Spain when he would turn 60.
These last few weeks have been equally hard as they have been beautiful. They have taught me that grief is a gentle invitation bringing us home to ourselves, to our hearts. We gain a connection with loss, that in turn, deepens our bond with the essence of living.
I feel so blessed I could be here by my brother’s side for the last week of his life, that he saw me consciously perhaps for the last day he was and that the people he loved the most were next to him in his last breath.
I feel so grateful that I’ve been able to hold my parents in what they call the hardest moment of their lives and have the love and support of my husband and daughters who selflessly said go where you need to be and family and friends who have lovingly said “I’ve got you” with no need of words but with presence.
I feel so humbled and eternally grateful for you, for your notes and WhatsApp messages of love and support. Each of them have made a difference and have made my heart feel soft and strong at the same time. My roaming connection hasn’t been the best but some SMS messages have arrived, so if you have sent one and haven’t gotten a response it might have not reached its destination but know I am grateful for it.
Reflecting about our practice, the intention for this month was about embracing the Art of Slowing Down and the Universe has given me the space to do just that. To simply be with my family, to hold my parents when they want to cry, to smile and laught while we find beautiful treasures in boxes of forgotten photos, to enjoy a meal (or too many) with friends and family without the rush of being somewhere else and chat about the way we feel and cherish memories of what once was.
So yes, I am writing to you from Mexico, from my dad’s place today. To say hello, to lovingly remind you to enjoy your life as the precious gift it is, nothing is that important to stress out, to be anxious for or worth enough to compromise your peace. Today look at your loved ones for who they are not for who you want them to be and say how much you love them, especially for who they are.
I wish this love note plants a little seed in your heart to stop waiting… waiting for the right time, for the right moment, for the right place. Do the things you love today, don’t leave your dreams and desires for one day. Say what you've hesitated for too long, share your gifts and find joy in what is.
I’ll be back in Melbourne on August 8th and back to classes on August 11th.
For these last few days I will be immersed with my family and preparing a yoga and meditation ceremony to celebrate my brother’s life. It will be the first time I share my work with my loved ones here and in Spanish, something I have been wanting to do for years and have put off for too long, so I am taking myself out of my comfort zone for something bigger than me.
As soon as I am home (but after I hug my husband and girls) I will send you all the details for our Spring Retreat, the new date for Metamorphosis and new things sprouting from this pause. It is in silence, stillness and solitude that the best inspiration arises.
I love you dear friend, I feel so blessed to have you in my life, that you are part of my community and that we get to share this gift of life together. I can’t wait to see you when I am back.
Much love and blessing to you and yours.
Mariana
PS. If you want to read the blog post I wrote before I travelled about the Art of Slowing Down, it might be exactly what you needed to hear today.